When I imagine becoming a mother someday, I don’t picture perfect mornings or Instagram-ready moments. I imagine the small, human ones - the messy, emotional, sometimes overwhelming realities of raising another person. And I often think not just about the parent I want to be, but the things I hope I never do. These are the intentions I want to hold close.
First, I don’t want a single day to pass where my child doesn’t know that I love them. Not just through words, but through warmth, presence, and the way I show up in their everyday life. Love shouldn’t be something they question; it should be the ground they stand on.
Second, I don’t want to protect them so fiercely that I stunt their growth. Children learn by trying, falling, getting hurt, and trying again. If I shield them from every discomfort, I’d also be shielding them from resilience.
Third, I don’t want to jump to conclusions without hearing their side of the story. I want to remember that children, like adults, deserve to be listened to - not dismissed, judged, or interrupted.
Fourth, I don’t want to smother them with advice. This will probably be the hardest one for me to follow. But I want to let them come to me, not drown them in guidance they never asked for.
Fifth, I don’t want my child to grow up unsure of what love feels like at home. I want our home to be a place where tenderness is normal, where affection isn’t rationed, and where emotional safety is a given.
Sixth, I don’t want laughter to fade from our home. I want kitchen dances, silly songs, and inside jokes that only we understand. A family that forgets how to be playful forgets how to stay close.
Seventh, I don’t want my child to ever feel small for having big emotions. Crying, screaming, melting down - these are all human expressions, not misbehaviors to punish. I want to give them the space to feel without shame.
Eighth, I don’t want to project my unfulfilled dreams onto them. My child shouldn’t exist to complete my story. They should have the freedom to chase their own dreams, even if they look nothing like mine.
Ninth, I don’t want to raise a “good” child - one who simply follows rules, pleases adults, and avoids trouble. I want to raise a kind, curious, courageous human being who knows how to think for themselves and stand for what they believe in.
And finally, I don’t want my child to ever wonder whether I am proud of them. I want them to know - deeply, consistently, quietly - that I am. Not because of their achievements, grades, or milestones, but because they exist.
When I become a mother, I know I will make mistakes. I know I will fall short. But these intentions are my compass. And I hope they guide me toward raising a child who feels loved, seen, and free to become who they truly are.