From “Ayyo” to “Oh Hi!”

A few years ago, this is how I’d react when my phone lit up with a call from my Amma or Appa:

“Ayyo…” followed by a flat “Hi.”

These days, my response has softened into an enthusiastic:

“Oh hi!”

But here’s the thing - our conversations never really changed.

They went like this, every single time:

“Did you eat?”
“Yes. You?”
“Yes.”
“Epdi iruka?” (How are you?)
“Good. Neenga?” (And you?)
“Fine.”

And that was it.

We were connected by biology, by obligation, by the structure of family. But not by depth or meaning.

Why Parent-Child Conversations Feel Shallow

For a long time, I struggled to understand why these conversations felt repetitive and distant. Then it clicked.

The problem is this: we still see them as parents, and they still see us as children.

When we were young, our parents were superheroes. Hungry? They fed us. Hurt? They soothed us. Any problem? They fixed it.

That’s the image we carry forward - that they are infallible, larger-than-life figures.

But they aren’t. They’re human. They’ve made mistakes, carried pain, and continue to wrestle with their own fears.

On the flip side, our parents continue to see us as fragile children who need protection at every step - even when we’re fully grown adults.

The Clash of Perspectives

I remember when I told my dad I wanted to quit my high-paying job. He wasn’t supportive. His reaction hurt me deeply - until I realized something.

I was seeing him as a parent who should understand.
He was seeing me as a child who should be safe.

Neither of us was wrong. We were simply stuck in the same old roles, unable to see each other as equals.

The Shift That Changed Everything

The first step in healing my relationship with them was simple but powerful:

Seeing them as people. And asking them to see me the same way.

When I began to look at my parents not as superheroes or authority figures, but as flawed human beings doing the best they could, my conversations with them began to change.

And when I invited them to see me not as a child, but as an adult capable of making my own choices, our relationship deepened.

Maybe That’s Your Step Too

Family relationships aren’t always easy. But sometimes, the healing starts not with long conversations or dramatic gestures - just a shift in perspective.

The next time you speak to your parents, try to see them not as Amma or Appa, but simply as people. People with fears, flaws, dreams, and histories.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s the first step toward a relationship built not on obligation, but on understanding.